♥ Being in love is like ..

Monday, March 31, 2008 Y Monday, March 31, 2008

i havent been blogging for very long as im too busy, but pictures of 5A1 class photo will be up soon on my blog so stay tuned! Anyway, this few days i haven't notice her msging Jiaye or calling him, dont know should i be happy or sad. Class latest trend is playing bingo in class, to me it's like: PLAY BINGO CAN SCORE A1 FOR YOUR 'O'S UHH! Ever since she keep asking people around to play with her includes Jiaye too. I keep seeing them playing in class which make me so irritated. I hate being at home this few days too, but i have no where to go unlike last time i can still go over and find Dardar to pei me somehow. Da jie is pissing me off like wtf la, then mum keep saying im playing outside instead of studying. I dont care if you guys believe or not, nothing matters to me anyway. Tomorrow is April fool's day, guess if i kena fool also is normal ba. This few days, i dont know why i get so easily jealous over what my close friends or whoever mention by Jiaye. Feelings are still there, so what if it's still there, he keeps saying he dont love me anymore or whatever shit de, dont care la. Heard that Chee how and his girl broke up, im shocked cause it's like yet a month or so? Poor thing la, i still thought they could last, look not compatible ehh, just hope he'll feel better soon though i dont talk to him. -.- Time to go pack my bag le, blog soon!

Ricky, Happy 17th Birthday! Hope ya wishes come true~ =]]

Jiaye, do you know that my heart is now lost?

Labels: Bored~

Monday, March 24, 2008 Y Monday, March 24, 2008

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm so gonna find ways to screw her life, damn irritated already. How could i actually have a good friend like this? Fucked up siol, and seriously Jiaye stop helping her scold me la, this is crap lo, both of you act like so innocent when you 2 are not. Im not blind and who cares if i said loudly in class that you were Jiaye's gf? Guess what, im pissed with your stupid attitude, so fucking fake. I dont care if you like Jiaye or not, just dont you dare HURT him, orelse i dont know what i will do to you. I rather lose you as my friend then to lose him, can't you just admit that you like him. Even heard that you message him in the morning at 3am? Even if i was together with him, i never did go disturb him sleep so many times la, 3am haven't sleep then what the fuck were you doing? Seriously, i HATE you and your stupid attitude, i can't believe that you were actually my good friend in the first place. Good friends wont end up like this now, so i guess you wont so seriously in making friends with me in the first place. You can hate me for all you want, but stop doing hypocrite stuffs behind my back. So what if im not Jiaye's gf anymore, doesn't mean that i cant care about his stuffs, and for the first time i seriously love someone ended up he go like you, you know what the feeling is like anot? If no, then dont talk so much, if ya mine friend you wont do this kind of things, mind your words too. RAWRS! Though Charmaine dont wanna tell me what msg you send him, doesn't mean i dont know what you are thinking, your acting skills are too lousy and im not blind though i wear specs with high degree. Dont think you are tall and have a figure i'll be scare of you, at least im proud that im short and i dont play with Jiaye's feeling, only he dont understand or appreciate it. Maybe our breakup was what you always wanted, i never will know. I dare you to get together with him and play with his feelings, and i bet later you sure no face. Blahs, im getting crazy, need to control. Online please dont act offline too uhh, TALK TO ME! Dont wanna talk about you le, my mood totally spoil liao, waste my time too. Too much of test this week, i rather waste my time studying. Off to study, guess i'll blog later or what..

Jiaye, if ya angry with me, i dont mind cause i really dont wanna see you get hurt~ *ILU!

Labels: BITCH, FUCK OFF~

Sunday, March 23, 2008 Y Sunday, March 23, 2008

I'm bored now, went to but 2 skinny jeans just now with my mum, 1 black and 1 hotpink. Dad's pissed with me maybe it's because i've been going out almost everyday and not doing my homework. Yet i have finished them before i go out luhhs. Forget it, i haven't talked to Jiaye for hours, his moody today somehow i think. Chatted with mum over him just now when we were out, as i didn't want mum to have a bad impression of him even if we're not together anymore. Halfway through my blogskin, only that i lazy go load it. Currently sending Photoshop Css 3 to Marcus as he wanted it, heard that it cost around $600+ for the original one. So cool i got it for free, who wants it? See my mood and i'll send it to you. This week i got many tests, gonna go mug tomorrow if i can go over Adrian's hse with Charmaine, along helping him put Photoshop Css 3 in his notebook, ain't i kind! Blahs, anyway, good news is Charmaine feels better now and i hope she'll go school tomorrow, if not im so freaking lonely. Adrian and the other guys are hoping that they will be send home so that they could go over to Desmond's house to play PS2. Siao ginnas, they dont seems to be afraid of 'O' levels. Charmaine also have nothing better to do, surfing steven lim website, i went to the site and i felt like puking. Gosh, his really very ugly la! Bored, guess i go find things to do, blog tomorrow or when i'm free..

Jiaye, i'm seriously missing you alot now..

Labels: what a day..

Y Sunday, March 23, 2008

It's feels so weird now, after he told me that she's angry with him and making him so confused now. Hey my beloved darling boy, im always there for you la, i dont care what you think of me yet it really hurts to see you sad or what. I dont even know what is she thinking too, that's why i cant help you. Seriously, to me you are the best boyfriend i had though you had weird attitudes but i can still take it. I dont want to change the feelings i had for better guys out there, cause to me you are just like a tattoo on my heart, forever cant be removed. I love you and i dont like seeing you getting hurt from other girls, i promised i will always be there for you when ya need, dont find me naggy as i dont really mean it just that truth must be said at times to you.
Darling, i love you for eternity~

Labels: baby, dont be sad as im always there for you~

Y Sunday, March 23, 2008

I'm bored, finally get to touch the computer le. Anyway, i did went to Sentosa with the guys today. Patheticly, only 5 of us which are ME, Adrian, Desmond, Marcus and SOMEONE who dont want to be named as his crush will be mad at him later. Anw, he did told me that SHE will come my blog and read, guess what im more welcome to let you read my blog, and so what if i bad-mouth you? I doubt i had a friend like you too, really wonder why he liked you in the first place and for what. As for you, stop your hypocrite moves, im not blind nor stupid, your acting skills are lousy, go home and trained up before acting infront of me. Seriously if you see this post, im really getting pissed with you 2, make me damn irritated and wonder what you 2 actually want from me? Blahs, ASSHOLES! I'm not so free to get angry over you 2, waste my time i rather spend it with Charmaine on snapping lots of pictures or go study. It rained just the way i thought, at 4.30 like that and we didnt played any water but me, Desmond and HIM were watching how Adrian and Marcus were chasing each other, damn funny la. LOLS~ Marcus is smoking like it's water, plus seriously i dont wanna see Marcus dying earlier than me. Quit smoking la, what's so fun about smoking? I hate waiting for guys to go out too. I sometimes think that they should be a girl instead of a guy, i waited for them again for 1 hour or 2? Not sure, but i'm pissed with them making me wait, really can faint. Lucky i bought a bar of chocolates to make my mood better, if not i think i sure scream liao. Anyway, i went home early today, mum was shocked too, but i bought myself supper "MACDONALDS"! Gosh, im getting fat, yet my dearest sweetheart, Charmaine is having a food poisoning session now, get well soon i still wanna take alot of photos with ya!I so wanna play cabalsea soon, yet the stupid setup dont want let me download finish, stupid man. Tmr i shall go buy hot pants or skinnys with my mum! Dad's going Hong Kong in April, WEEE!! New clothes or shoes maybe? I WANT BOOTS! Im so gonna ask him help me get stuffs from there! Blog tomorrow or when im free.

Jiaye, though i can still live on without you now, doesnt mean i can live without you forever, get it my darling? *ilu!

Labels: baby~, Days are going on without you

Saturday, March 22, 2008 Y Saturday, March 22, 2008

I just reached home not long ago, very tired now and i dont know why. Jiaye accompany me take cab just now, but in the end he got down first, like what the hell. I thought why he so good also, nevermind ba, at least his home safety, im glad~ He kena nag by me again, cause seriuously i think i now starting to hate his attitude and Shermin's. They are so ACT in some ways, that makes me feel like kicking their ass off. Jiaye even said that if i want me chance, i have to wait for 10 years down the road, like crap, what if 10 years down the road, he found a perfect girlfriend better than me, then want me do what? Though i believe i can do that la, single is nothing to me although i desperately want a boyfriend, yet it would be best if it's him again. For some reasons, i seriously am mad into Jiaye and can sacrifice alot of things for him lahh, dumb ass idiot. Everyone thinks that im stupid to be still in love with him but im not la, isn't being devoted to a guy you love a good thing? Who cares, it's my own business to love Jiaye so deeply. All of us went to watch semi-pro with them, which was actually planned by me to go catch orphanage yet never. Charmaine and i also waited for them for hours, i got blisters too. OUCHS! Make us go back cineleisure when we reached the cathay already, even my make-up and contact lens went off. Gosh, wasn't my day! Anyway, i didn't really felt like going home today yet i went to joke with Jiaye asking him if i could go over his house to stay tonight.Haha, he was like sia0 uhh, damn funny! I'm joking la, take it so seriously like im gonna eat him up like that. Donaldson lost his phone in the cinemas, like what the hell. I actually wanted his phone la, sony ericsson W860i if im not wrong. That phone is cool though the keypad is weird. They are going Sentosa tomorrow, guess im going to tag along even if Jiaye's not going, i just dont wanna be home. it's 2am now, im tired, guess i continue this post in the morning later. Nights all~

Jiaye, I can use my whole lifetime now to love only you~

Labels: Jiaye must be mine again, someday~

Friday, March 21, 2008 Y Friday, March 21, 2008

It's been so long since i promise to blog and here i am finally. Charmaine and i are like so much more closer nowadays~ Almost? No, everyday im spending my after school time with her. She even force me to shape my eyebrows on wednesday. RAWRS! Anyway, we look almost the same now, gosh! I'm also starting to fall in LOVE with Charmaine! LMAO!

Mozart was our dad too!

Snapping alot of pictures at adrian's house when we found his crystal eye webcam and we were so bored! And somehow, Jiaye came into our photos when he was checking if his hair is messy! Haha!

Here are the pictures at Sentosa during the 1 week march holidays. The holiday was so boring but at least i got to go Sentosa with my click of friends. Cheers! Please enjoy the photos.

The Group photo that i love the most though i feel so bitchy inside~ LMAO~

Shall go hunt for clothes as im going later with Charmaine, Adrian and the others. I'm shocked that Marcus and Desmond are really at the zoo, thought he joke about it in the morning! Gosh, i'll see them later as well too, though i guess Jiaye cant make it as he has housewarming! Blog when im free, MISS ME!

Labels: Cheers.

Thursday, March 13, 2008 Y Thursday, March 13, 2008

Today is a tiring day, guess i blog tmr, with all the pictures~!!Need time to edit them too!! ^ ^

佳业，你知道你好像理我越来越远了，但是我的心里还是放不下你~

因为在乎, 所以我害怕失去你~

只从那一天小男孩离开了小女孩后，

她从来都没有那么的开心了，

再也没有灿烂的笑容，

再也没有很多胃口吃，

再也没有任何信心做任何东西，

再也对爱这个字没有感觉了，

再也没有安全感，

永远都觉的有人要伤害她，

她一直都觉的小男孩的心里还是有她的，

但是不知为什么会喜欢上小女孩的好朋友，

小女孩知道后, 非常伤心，

一直就想要知道她到底做错什么，

但是小男孩就是不要告诉她，

只能一天一天的等，

就从那一天起，

小女孩再也没有听见小男孩对她说:

宝贝，我爱你!

而小女孩只能在心里忍受这一些痛苦的事，

对自己说: 不要放弃，只要自己有信心，那一天一定会来的，因为有爱的力量，我自己知道他会回来的，而这次是会永远在一起!

但是这一些会是一场梦吗?

梦真的会实现吗?

佳业，你知道我还在等待这个奇迹出现吗?

我爱你!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 Y Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It's the HOLIDAY week le. I'm gonna go MIA on my blog this week i guess, joking uh. I'm kind of busy this week. Jiaye's at Tokyo now for the 2nd day le. Xin fu guy, always can go Japan but i decided to save up my money this year, then if can go with friends on holiday? *Dream on! Anyway, i'm hungry now~ Feel like eating Pizza hut but no money, Sian 1/2! I'm bored and thinking of him. Okay, this is bad, later all of you come kill me again, cannot think. I go chiong maple try level 85 by today or i'll just go do homework soon. *Act ke guai nia!* Blog soon?

我的亲爱的佳业，你还在我的心里吗?

Labels: 永远爱着你

Thursday, March 06, 2008 Y Thursday, March 06, 2008

ATTENTION: MISS NG ZHI YING IS GOING TO START HER NEW LIFE FROM TOMORROW ONWARDS, PLEASE HELP HER TO GET OVER THIS STUPID INCIDENT!!

okay, I'm betray by my friend sort of, but forget it. It's over, the matter is gonna stop, i guess i should listen to Charmaine and dearest 5A1 girlfriends that are concern towards me. Broading over the 2 years relationship cant helped me in anything to save it. Jiaye still cant wake up his idea but i know he will somehow, he need reflection badly, I feel stupid to be in the stupid nonsense in school today, but first time i can see that Ivan is actually a guy that really know what is right and wrong towards people though he may be irritating at times when he pissed you off. I think what you all said to me, i should go reflect over it. Charmaine been a very good GIRLFRIEND to me whenever i'm in this type of stuffs. She really told me alot about relationships and i think i get her point of view. If i want my relationship to be saved now, i can only let go and let him think, regret, reflect and get guilty. And i admit im been very bitchy towards my friends, I'm seriously SORRY! Hope you all will forgive me, and give me another chance. I dont wanna lose my friends. I'll stop being so emo in my blog that much and learn from Charmaine to be happy without Bobby beside her. Yet feelings for Jiaye will be set aside and i'm not going to start another relationship for now. At least i know that i had him all by myself once in my life and only have 50% of chance left to have him again in my life. I cant regret but i will look forward in my life now. Live life like there's no tomorrow. I must really stand on my own now. Dont worry, if you need me when you are feeling down, i'll still be there for you, okay? I Love You, My Ex-bf~ We got our class tees today too, im glad with the result though the size was XS but was quite big, i dont blame anyone ya? Dont get stress up, what is done is done. I really love the class tees this year. SUPER MYSTICS is here! Jiaye's one is SUPER SORA~ Sweet but yet too bad. I'll wait and seee, now is the time for me to be happy and study. I can live without you, i guess!F3. Blog tmr..

Thanks to all my good friends that were there for me when i'm so down today. You all were so sweet and i felt that actually there were alot of people there for me when i needed it badly. I love you guys lots! Thanks my sweeties, Charmaine, Genie, Jessie, Siti, Jolene, Zong jin and the others! I gladly appreciated it! =]]

Jiaye, Don't worry about me and have fun, i just hope you can go reflect over everything! I Love You Forever! =]]

Labels: I shall start all over again..=]

Y Thursday, March 06, 2008

3 Weeks le, didn't blog yesterday as i was too busy. I'm in school now having F&N lesson in computer lab again. Lazy to do my research, I seriously need help! Bought 4 hairbands and i think im crazy~ Blahs! Shermin is sick and didn't come school again, had like 2 periods in school that is like so free. Jiaye was like missing her, i can see that even though he never said anything. I'm seriously angry ytd night when i met him and while he was chatting with Ivy on the phone. Seriously heartbroken, thinking that maybe it's useless to continue waiting. 5 months is not short la, want me wait so long i rather i go die. Still to me, i don't think They will get together, even if they do, i doubt they will last long. Jiaye says that if they get together, and break up, he then may come back finding me. Now i think im a spare tire, this is crap la~ I feel unappreciated for being so devoted to Jiaye. Why can't he get that actually the person he loved is so near but yet so far cause he never notice me. He just think that im just some FRIEND that is close to him now, nothing more. MAN, im suffering la, im losing all my blood soon, maybe later i die from loss of blood and i can see you celebrate. Sky of love, haii, i wanna asked him out to accompany me watch, whatever, my wish wont come true. If it did, he would be back to me already~ And i thought someone being loved is the most blissful thing? Does any guys understand that, or just think that maybe a girl is will be more blissful if they were being loved. Bei ai shi xi fu de! How i hope Jiaye was the one who is loving me now~ then that will be a blissful thing for me now. He just keep saying he has no feelings for me when im so working hard on it. I can also see that im improving on my fashion sense as he said so too. He thinks that i wear so nice is too find new guys. Blahs! Please la, i dont need other guys to love me if i got you! DUMMY! I really find you very cute at times, and idiot, cause you make me got a shock of my life. That was evil, dont ever do that again. I think i may get a shock and die on the spot~ Nightmares are horrifying, i dreamt of them everyday, how long must this go on? Though most of my friends say in real life and dreams they are opposites, i dont think so la. How to believe uhh? Im chatting with duwee now too. ;D She's my nice sweet girlfriend/maplefriend i can count on chatting about my heartfelt feelings. Thanks DUWEEE! I LOVE YOU, MY SWEETIE! And i just found out that Campus superstar Benjamin went to AMK ite? Im shocked to see that and is very sad for him though his pictures were like so happy?!?! Weird, i thought he was a clever boy.F3 Anyway, Class gonna soon, blog tonight~

Qing ai de Jiaye, why cant you let my wish come true? Sighs~

Labels: Dreams wont come true..i guess?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008 Y Tuesday, March 04, 2008

2 Weeks 5 days le, hmm, today mixed up mood~I'm happy, sad, jealous, pissed~ LOLS~ I had a bad dream yesterday, told alot people about it and i could still laugh, they thought i went haywire. I dreamt that Shermin came to me and said: Haha, Jiaye is my boyfriend now~ and went out with Jiaye after that, OMG! It's like WTH? Totally shocking that i cried to bed..ZzZz.
Anyway, Jiaye gave Shermin the Chocolate he bought for her, 36 of them. Im Jealous but what to do. Sighs. Shermin is having a fever too, though she msged me to explain that Sakae Sushi wasn't paid by Jiaye as they share the bill due to her brother present too. Felt a sense of jealousy in me, but i told her why must explain to me, and take care cause lately alot people getting sick, not good. The day went on okay..Geography Remedial was also cancel so i went to watch movie with Adrian and the brothers~ Going out with them again is so fun though most of the time i like alone la, Only girl what bo bian~ Sat with Jiaye in the cinema. Muahahaha. Secured Feeling was back though he kept saying he dont want sit with me. Heart felt so sweet at there moment, L change the world was rather okay only as i thought Death note 1 & 2 is better, at least i get to sit next to Jiaye which made me feel better. *SECRETS KEPT IN MY HEART* hehe, I LOVE JIAYE and never will i change the fact~ I WANNA WATCH SKY OF LOVE, WHO WANNA WATCH WITH ME? If not im going to watch alone le. T.T Time to go do some homework and scan in more details if not later my brain rust~ Blog when im freeeeee..=x

Jiaye, You are the best boyfriend i ever had and i hope i can have another chance to cherish you again~

Labels: Sweet~

Monday, March 03, 2008 Y Monday, March 03, 2008

2 Weeks 4 Days le, Today is a werid day too..Had different kinds of mood in a day. Fake smile and laughter all the way through, Blahs~ I think im stubborn la, Shermin didn't come school today and made Jiaye abit like sot sot one. Pissed and jealous~ But at least i can still chat happily with him although like kind of conflict de la, but im content enough! ^^ Went to Parliament house in the afternoon, On the bus, i sat with Jiaye, HEHE, cause i wanted to listen to music then somemore he listen de all is japanese one, I LIKE~ When i was sitting with him, much of the memories came back all the sudden, i felt very secured sitting with him though his not mine now. Took quite alot of photos though i only wanted to take a photo with Jiaye but he shy cause cut new hair. I think quite cute eh, still very handsome la and to me is always handsome, my shuai ge ge, noone can win de hor! >.<

Baobeii Jiaye, I Miss Your Everything!

Labels: A secured day..

Sunday, March 02, 2008 Y Sunday, March 02, 2008

2 Weeks 3 days le, i promise to blog about everything today? Went editing some random pictures i took this week. Don't really know what i wanna say now, those 2 days were simply weird, i really miss those good old days. Getting jealous is no use too. Jiaye knows that im jealous but he doesn't care much too. I can't control much of my emotion lately, though Shermin told me that she told Jiaye she dont like him, in my heart i still feel unsecured with that answer. You never know what will happen the next min, maybe you may fall in love with him without me knowing. I admit, i was being a Bitch saying you behind your back which was very bad. I'm truly Sorry but im just really envious over you and Jiaye. I cant force Jiaye to love me back, but to go in a natural way. I joked about some guy asking me to be his girlfriend, and your reaction was: Sure anot? So fast? How possible?. I wonder if that was jealousy or what, maybe you think i cant find better guys because im deadly in love with you? haii, yesterday never chat with you on the phone again, cause you said you haven't go shower, wait till you shower finish then chat. Made me wait till i sleep and woke up at 2 to check. Still no miss calls, then though maybe you sleep le so dont bother you liao, orelse i scare later you angry with me. After that, i couldn't really sleep, keep thinking about us watching movie at AMK hub with Shermin and others. You were 2 sits away from me, so weird, and i had to entertain myself cause i didn't really had the mood to chat with you guys. The atmosphere was very weird. Maybe because Shermin was there too? Guess im just used to going out with you or with Adrian they all. Days were much more better and less suffering. You really were my everything and i dont wanna get use to the real reality now. Donaldson chatted with me just now, asking me to give him 1M in maple if he play back Delphinus, and i said they all bully me, all ask me for money, somemore now i single eh, dont have Jiaye help me liao. He joke and said that he never bully me and if can help he will help me to get back with Jiaye but best is take it in natural form. I agree too, but at least i know Donaldson have that heart to help me, im contented enough to have a friend like him. Those brothers were funny and have different personality, each of them have different good and bad points, even if you hate them in some way, they are all still very good friends you can count on. Though im not part of them, but used to be going out with them last time because of Jiaye and im the only girl most of the time. So you wont ever see me shopped for clothes. They hated me once i guess, because i always wanted Jiaye all to myself and never let him go out with them, maybe im too sensitive that he'll go find new girls when he is with them last time. Thinking about it, i think im stupid la. I want go back to the good old days, if only i could make time changed. HAHA. I'm dreaming again. I'm bored, guess i go maple awhile, blog at night or tomorrow. We're going Parliament House tmr, i want go cam-wore but my mum is taking the camera. Sian 1/2.

Jiaye, will the day come?

Labels: Wonder and wonder..

Saturday, March 01, 2008 Y Saturday, March 01, 2008

2 Weeks 2 days le, i have alot to say but it's too late. Blog over the 2 days tmr, i guess. This 2 days too busy going out to let out my feelings, yet it still failed~ I can still try to let go yet seeing you like this make me feel bad. I just like to be by your side no matter what, i can feel more secure around you. I dont wanna see you get hurt or depressed, i really want to see you happy. Still remember what you said to me this days, If we are meant to be together, we can always wait and get back together last as long as possible, maybe i may be his wife too. We never know, he always say this as his cousin's relationship was something like us too, just that it's the girl who wanted to break up. I miss you dearly, watching movies without you sitting beside me is also very weird. I feel unsafe all the sudden now. Disappointed* I really hope i can predict the future, predict when will you come back to me or maybe you won't but i wanna know, so that i dont waste my time on this....I love you, my dearest Jiaye~

Labels: Words....