Saturday, September 29, 2007 Y Saturday, September 29, 2007
'N' are next week!
SCHOOL HAS FINISHED FOR THE SEC 4 As
it's quite sad though.
WISH EVERYONE GOOD LUCK & GET INTO SEC 5!
shall blog everything after 'N's!
bye!
Friday, September 21, 2007 Y Friday, September 21, 2007
MOOD: DEPRESSED, CRYING, EMOING, MISSING HIM
SONG LISTENING: THE WORLD IS BLACK, APOLOGIZES
it's been 1 Day plus since i ever talk to him.
the feelingq is totally sucky,
broke down and cried in school again after chinese period.
though my mt prelim got 70 marks,
i was happy but the smile was able to be made.
seeing him in class make me feel totally awkward and wanted to cry for the whole day,
though i really thanks Siti, Genie, Jessie, Michelle, LingLing, Lynette and those who were there for me,
i really am glad that you guys cared so much for me,
yet i'm still in pain la.
sorry to make you guys worry for me ok?
i'll be alrights, i guess?
or maybe i'm just faking it.
my heart really hurts.
it's like 10 millions thousands of needles with bits of glass being pierce through my heart.
though it's already scattered into pieces,
it felt like it won't get heal for the time being or quite a long time.
i wrote a letter to him.
about 1 page like that.
asked aaron to pass to him in the morning,
he did took it la.
but then i also dont know if he will read anot?
just hope he really understand that i love him alot,
that special feelingqs.
now my mom is worried about me,
just because when i reached home till now,
i haven spoken a word to them,
which made them think so much too.
i'm sorry!
but ain't this good?
i'm finally quiet at home.
what can i do now?
hoped he will call me tonight at least?
i really miss him dearly, miss his everything!
my only birthday wish now is that he will be with me together like what he promise me.
what promise message from him last time.
i still remember this msg about if we cant live till 2050, and if his really dead, he will still love me forever.
so sweet right?
now when i go think back, i hope it could stop right there..
when he said that to me before going to sleep.
i miss dardar!
too used to him le la.
thanks Serene to accompany chat!
i'm glad i still have friends to care for me!
yet, i still LOVE my dardar deeply now!
please, someone help me get his mind through!!
Thursday, September 20, 2007 Y Thursday, September 20, 2007
MOOD NOW: VERY DEPRESSED, MOODLESS, SAD, EMOING, STRESS
SONG I'M LISTENING NOW: THE WORLD IS BLACK, APOLOGIZE, WILL YOU EVER LEARN, CRUCIFY SORROW
hais.
i feel so bad for yesterday..
though I'm still angry with him..
it's not actually mine fault lah.
1 Year 8 Months 20 Days?
why must my relationships be like this?
only knew that it's starting to be like he's taking revenge to me?
for what i did last time?
it's not fair okay!
you never gave me that much attention last time too!
I've changed so freaking much!
WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DID NOW?
everything is so going wrong this few months, weeks, days..?
i still think that when he was down with stomach flu last week was still the best week ever..
the best week he treated me just like last time..
so sweet and i was so worried for him..
due to his high fever and stomach flu..
i miss those days la!
GOD, I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU CAN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO BE WITH MY DARDAR HAPPILY?
i really hate to be in this state now..
it's simply wrong.
my mind now is so confuse.
it's so easy to like someone..yet giving up or letting go is so hard..
i hate that feelingq!!
his friends, computer, televisions, pretty babes are always his first priority..
i never really did complain much..
wanting too much is to a certain extent.
it's been so long since he went out with me too.
nothing can ever change the fact that i love DARDAR!
i don't care if others say that it's just a one-sided love.
it's my own lovelife, NOT UR'S
care about ur own first before saying others.
no one is ever right ok!
it's just bad to have LOVE in this world!
hating is much easier..
cherish the ones you loved before you regret!
伤心的人更伤心， 伤心的人也很难把伤心的事给忘掉!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 Y Tuesday, September 11, 2007
okay.
great
today is 11 september 2007!
it's seems like it is a wonderful day to go school..
have great friends always around you by ur side when u need them?
today..
yet it wasn't my day.
it's seems like it's the worst & most horrible day of my LIFE!
everything in mind now is..?
- feel like killing anyone that is willing to let me end their lifes?
- want tons of money to disappear from all the people that know me?
- kill myself?
- to cry out all my lungs & heart out?
- getting into an accident?
- get into hospital?
- hoping to get some revenge?
- get all those that i dont like to disappear from this world?
- have wonderful special powers to protect myself?
- hate myself?
- go to the beach ALONE?
- there are still alot more.
i dont know what to do now actually?
but just hearing what michelle told me from ADRIAN SEET HAN SHENG!
that my dardar dont love me anymore and love that F****** B**** JIN YAN more!
i dont wish to believe it.
i dont even want to end this 1 year 8 months and 3 days relationship with some stupid reason!
this is totally atrocious la.
my stomach is very hungry now.
empty stomach?gastric pain?
everything seems so great at this moment..
even if i turn mute someday.
it's not even shocking for me..
every single day is more & more depressing for me.
i dont want this to happen..
but i dont know how
why did GOD want to do this to me?
it's unfair!!
is my 16 birthday going to be ruin?
without that special surprise from my LOVE one?
i just hope it will happen?
just like what i wished last year for my birthday.
though it's also a very horrible birthday for me on 8 November 2006
as dar wanted to break up with me on that day.
lost a special friend after that..
and all the bad luck went following me.
is it fated or what?
can't i just change it?
everything is slowly leaving me.
almost all..?
i dont have a chance to even speak up for myself.
i'm now really really very hurt right deeply in my heart.
which is like broken into thousand and millions of pieces.
it dont seems to be able to get patch up le.
the hurt is getting abit of numb.
i'm just trying to face everyone with a smile.
yet..
it always dont seems right to them..
i just wish i can know what i did wrong to make you all hate me.
exams?
i dont think i have that much mood to study hard le.
everything came to fast.
i'm not able to cope with it..
it's too much..
my heart, mind, soul..
they aren't super.
am i that bad to be his girlfriend who is really devoted to him..loving him with all my heart already?
AM I SO BAD!?!?
Wednesday, September 05, 2007 Y Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I HATE 'N' LEVELS!
english paper so f****** difficult can!
social studies already think die liao.
hais.
why g0d want to put in this kind of state.
i kept trying to be happy every single day too.
yet?
haiis.
friends around?
not much left in school le.i guess.
char & i..
maybe we're on the same boat.
i'm not sure though.
boyfriend?
he looks like he love treating others better than his own girl.
i'm just confused with my own mind now.
exams are what it is important now.
i dont want others to look down on me.
i als0 hope that my good luck sent to "她" is a good thing.
haas.
i shall go watch y teevee now le.
NIGHTS~
=]]
Sunday, September 02, 2007 Y Sunday, September 02, 2007
Tmr's 'N' lvl chinese for the 4As
i here wish all 0f y0u best 0f luck!
today is an0ther day where every0ne is still irritating me.
d0nt ever say i nv go study when you all have no proof.
i want get into sec 5 de ok.
though my report slips are yet sign.
and hidden in my hse.
opps
i know i shouldn't do this la.
but den i no choice.
b0ring.
just h0pe every0ne in 4A1 get great result.
great friends they are indeed.
though i often hate them quite alot.
nowadays no picture to post de.
wait till holiday.
i shall get a part-time job.
have my money and get my digi cam.
woohoo!
=]]
acted as kermin's mom just now.
ehh..
quite scary hor.
so weird la.
wadever.
i shall go mugging liao.
Social Studies!
=X
